Step 1: Discover that Ikea kitchens can now be ordered online and that delivery, even to the far flung corners of West Wales, only costs £35.
Step 2: Order kitchen.
Step 3: Order new wardrobes too, for good measure.
Step 4: Inform husband.
Step 5: Resuscitate husband.
Step 6: Discover that the earliest date for delivery is July 21st.
Step 7: Discover that July 21st is first day of school holidays. Kick self.
Step 8: Accept delivery of several hundred anonymous boxes and bags from jolly Ikea delivery man. Ikea delivery man is still jolly despite having mistaken address for Llandeilo, Carmarthenshire. He didn't bat an eyelid when told that he needed to be in Pembrokeshire instead.
"I'll be a bit longer than an hour," quoth delivery man on mobile without irony.
Step 9: Decide to build wardrobes while concrete dries in kitchen hole.
Step 10: Discover wardrobes are only marginally less tall than bedroom and must be built upright.
Step 11: Soothe husband again. Remember husband is motivated by deadline. Phone friends and book holiday in Devon for coming Sunday.
Step 12: Put on another DVD for children. Feed on biscuits and toast as kitchen out of bounds.
Step 13: Build wardrobes. Remove heaps of clothes from children's beds. Put children to bed as it is now the middle of the night.
Step 15: Erm, not sure what this one is yet. Have to wait and see if husband returns!
To be continued...