Sunday, 15 July 2007

Stop raining! I'm going mad!

It is ironic, really, that my last blog was about ways to beat the blues, because for the past fortnight or so I’ve been feeling decidedly gloomy.
Under the weather might be more appropriate. The rain is really getting me down. I’m fighting a losing battle with slugs and weeds in the garden, my children are fighting and my husband always seems to be out at work, or planning socialising with people from work.
Me? I’ve demanded a pay rise and paid holidays. Actually any pay at all and even just one day of holiday would feel like a bonus at the moment, but until the government decides that stay at home mums do actually deserve some kind of recognition for their labours, I’ll just have to rely on the child tax credit.
Oh lawks this is sounding like a moan! But if I can’t moan in my blog, where can I moan?
It can sometimes be a very lonely job being a stay at home mum. All my socialising seems to revolve around what my children want to do, so this week I’ve had a day trip to the local children’s fun farm, which was a good day out, but it was in my role as mum, not as a woman out to have some fun and enjoy herself on her own terms.
Saturday was a birthday party. The bouncy castle sort in the garden of the birthday girl’s home. Lovely party food, a really tastefully done barn conversion set in a nice lawned gardens with lots of the chic sort of touches I hanker for. Great. But it was a fifth birthday party and most of the mums dropped their sprogs off and dashed off to football.
“I could go somewhere,” I thought and suggested it to my offspring. Result? Tears. So I had to stay. Which was fine, except there for a lack of people to talk to. Towards the end of the party other mums turned up and I did have a good time catching up with some I haven’t seen for a while, but then members of the village taffia turned up and started to speak Cymraeg, so I was out in the cold.
Annoyingly I can understand most of what they talk about, but haven’t got the mental elasticity in Welsh to join in. There’s a time lag in working out what they are saying and being able to respond, by which time the conversation has galloped on. And anyway, I don’t think I was intended to be included in the chat. The paranoid side of my nature thinks that they deliberately talk in Welsh to exclude me. The more rational side then points out that this is Wales, they are all native Welsh speakers and they talk in Welsh first because that is what comes naturally to them. But it still makes me feel shut out and lonely.
So, time to apply my own tips on how to clear these blues. This too will pass.


  1. Ah I know the feeling well, I have spent hours at french doos with other mothers desperate not to have to speak to me in case they do not understand my french!! OR worse still ahve to speak english.. I remember in a past life pre marraige nad kids going into a shop in port merion where all teh women were speaking english only tohave them take one look at me and speak welsh.. paranoid!! Not at all dear!!

  2. i to am so fed up the weather lets just hope it stops xx jep

  3. Another complete wash out day here in N. Devon too. Like our French contingent I too could understand alot more French than I could speak it and was often left miles behind in the conversation. Cheer up it's got to stop soon - hasn't it? Can you hear the desperation in my voice?

  4. Oh poor you, you're so right, here is a good place to moan! I know exactly what you mean about the whole stay at home mother role, it is so hard sometimes, and such an important role, but where is the support for the job we're doing? I was feeling really under the cosh recently too but was lucky enough to have a week away and now it's almost the holidays .... gosh the whole Welsh thing would make me feel insecure too, though of ourse they're entitled to speak it. SURELY the weather will improve for the summer holidays?

  5. You are not alone, I felt decidely gloomy,nay depressed, this dark and rainy morning. I feel a little better now. This no-summer weather is even getting to me and I love rain! I've just had a cup of tea and three biccies so I'm with you on that one too. I think the Welsh speakers just revert to their language I don't think they are excluding you but I know how it makes you feel sometimes.
    Don't despair about being a mum, it's the most important and most rewarding job in the world and your children will be all the happier adults because of it. And sadly, before you know it they will be grown.
    Good job we can moan on here too, better out than in!
    This too shall pass,

  6. C'mon Preseli Mags lets get our wellies on and go and jump on some snails ...or slugs...or a couple of taffies...whatever! My mother in law would do that welsh thing right in front of me ...I used to get really mad!I referred to her and the three sister in laws as mcbeth and the three its just the three witches on their own...still spitting toads and things...have you got yer wellies on yet...hurrrrrrrrry up

  7. My father in law doesn't speak much English and even talks in his native language when he visits my home! I know they don't do it deliberately, but it's hard to know what to say or do when you're sitting there feeling like a lemon as they all ramble on!

    I'm a stay-at-home mum too and I am dreading the time when I have to meet all the local yummy mummies etc. We haven't lived in this area for very long, so have no friends here, which has suited me fine but is causing no end of worry now as my daughter starts nursery in September!!

  8. Ah! I feel so much better now! I put on my wellies and stamped on loads of (Welsh) slugs! I got thoroughly wet too, but sometimes, when it rains, you just have to get wet don't you?

  9. That must have been very hard for you. I have been blessed I'm sure since moving here as I felt welcomed right from the first day. And believe me, you would almost think they did speak in another language sometimes!!

    Chin up.

    Crystal xx

  10. Echoing UPL, the French are so odd about conversation, and tend to look pityingly at anyone who doesnt speak their language at a rate of knots.

  11. I can so understand how you feel. That's why I have to have my little business-it is not really more than a hobby-will never make me rich, but I get to 'meet' nice people and have something other than kids and what's for tea to talk about...and mainly it is just something for ME...important not to lose ourselves...

    warmest wishes


I am sorry to have to add word verification thing again but I keep getting spammed.