Tuesday, 21 October 2008


My toaster, like all toasters, is a fickle beast, and like all toasters, has Various Settings. One is for Pale and Uninteresting, another is for Perfect!, the third is for Charred, and the fourth for Smoke and Flames.

It seems others appliances within this household have taken note of the toaster's antics.

Last week, for example, the water pump which turns our bore hole water from meager trickle to mighty, er, trickle, changed its normal habit of being Irritatingly Noisy to one of Slightly Explosive.

Meanwhile the bathroom extractor fan, usually Irritatingly Whiny, became Oddly Quiet.

Today the washing machine, an elderly beast of at least a decade, discovered a setting for Shock and Awe.

Finally, Granny in the Annexe, discovered a new setting on her computer screen: Elegant, But Alarming, Plume of Smoke.

What's next? Who knows! My money's on the fridge freezer, normally Chilled or Ice Cool, discovering Alarmingly Warm or Flood.



  1. Oh dear. Brace yourselves.
    I bought an expensive toaster to avoid burning the toast every time. And guess what? Well, at least we know the smoke alarms work. (Ha! Maybe that's it! Your smoke alarms will beep suspiciously all night even though there's no smoke and the batteries are fine... can you tell that's happened here too?)

  2. Noooo! Quick, get the PCers who do feng shui to put a widget in your 'kaput appliances' corner. And if you could confine the outbreak to that side of the Preseli I'd be very grateful!

  3. Oh I hate when this sort of thing happens Mags - with you on the toaster, tumble dryer gasped its last and just waiting for the next thing. I HATE spending money on such boring things too! xx

  4. Love it - really made me smile! My dishwasher has gone from sparkly clean to manky sud mode. And the Aga is no longer in meltdown mode but has switched to disappointingly sulky.

  5. Very funny - shock and awe indeed! Typical that this would happen at a time when we all need to tighten our belts. We also bought and expensive toaster (begins with 'D', ends in 't', and rhymes (sort of) with f*ck it) but it's rubbish really.

  6. Why does this happen? We have had a series of things breaking down and just when you think all is ok again another appliance goes to the wall! did we buy them all at the same time so they are all dying together? Hope it has quitened down where you are!


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