Wednesday, 17 June 2009

It's a dog's life...

We were discussing this morning, Mr PM and I, as we hurtled off to our various workplaces and school, that the dog really Has It Good.

His day begins when he is awoken from his slumbers and taken for a good run around on the hay fields. The fields are big and flat and full of long grasses and are simply perfect for jolly dog leaping, larking about and general rabbit chasing.

After that it is back home to look at the hens and have a sniff at various interesting smells (his doggy version of Today), before returning to find that breakfast has magically appeared. He drinks water slobberingly from his bowl before flopping, with a big, satisfied sigh, into his dog cage (big doggy domain, which he loves) onto an old king size duvet.

That's it.

We buzz around finding school shoes, trainers, remembering last night's homework, have I paid the dinner money?, applying factor 50, finding raincoats, sports kits, where's the other trainer?, school cardigans (I think I left it at school... or it might be in the car... or I might be sitting on it...) working out if it's a work day or a home day (me) or what shift it is (Mr PM), cleaning teeth, brushing hair, ow! ouch! stop it!, putting fruit into school bags for amser chwarae, sandwiches into box (me), last night's leftover lentil dahl and rice into a Pyrex dish (Mr PM), telling the girls AGAIN to clean your teeth and put your shoes on and For God's Sake STOP Fighting!, feeding the guinea pigs, watering the hanging baskets, where are my keys? And my glasses? And my security pass?... and all the while the dog does this: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Then the door closes behind us and peace descends, so the dog does a bit more of this: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Then we come home at 3.15pm and he looks pleased to see us. Then he does more Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz while we do homework and change and other things. The he goes out for another run and comes home to another bowl of food and then he does more Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Then it's out in the dark for a quick last minute wee and a lot of Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz again.

It's quite simple really. I could do that. Occasionally he has to have a bath, perhaps four times a year, mostly he just potters about in the garden while we do too. From time to time he is called upon to take a role in the girls' games. He sits stoically, beatific expression on his face, while little children run around him playing vets with squeaky voices. Sometimes strangers come to the door and he pretends he is invisible should they be burglars and he be expected to bark or (horror!) bite. Sometimes there are women and children to be protected, so he must Look Fierce, which he does, but then he has a special look of utter relief when potential foes are unmasked as friends.

He sometimes lies on his back and grins (see picture).

I think I would too, if I were him.


  1. But he doesn't get to read Purple Coo, does he?
    Or play bridge which I am off to do now . . . .

  2. I'ts a dog' life is a well-used phrase in this house.

  3. Ours do lots of zzzzzzzzzzz...too.

    Dog 1 spent its formative days in the security of a crate - what a wonderful addition to the household that was.

  4. What a life! Our Rosie has a similar day - only barks at gentle old people and small children....break-in artists could walk right through the front door and not hear a peep from her.

  5. I loved this it's all so true!! When i think of all my lazy beasts zzzzzzzin while i work grrrr i think i'll rig up a big hamster wheel or something then they can power the washing machine or a pulley ski lift type thing then i wouldnt have to walk up the hill!xx

  6. Beautifully put. If it weren't for the disgusting food, I think I'd like to be reincarnated as a dog.

  7. Hi, I've just wandered in from another site (but can't remember which one!). I've really enjoyed reading your posts - we don't have a dog, but we do have a cat called Ceefer (ceefer cat - I blame my daughters!)who sleeps a lot. In fact, he's asleep right now with his nose up against the Finlay the illegal hamster's cage (- no pets in university residences!)

    I liked your post about HSM - having lived and breathed in for months when Last-Born (16) was Gabriella in the school production - cue dewy-eyed proud parent moment! I DETESTED Hannah Montana!

    Thanks for a nice blog :)

  8. You hit it on the head! Life as a dog, or a cat, or even a chicken round here, looks pretty good to me.

  9. Sounds a lot like my life. Except I prepare my own meals, and I can't run any more.

    Besides, I am, after all, a Bear. With no job to go to.

    But unlike dog, I can read Purple Coo. Which is where I'm heading next.


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