Thursday, 24 July 2008

Summer holiday game No. 2: Chaos in the kitchen

This one is strictly for the adults.

Step 1: Discover that Ikea kitchens can now be ordered online and that delivery, even to the far flung corners of West Wales, only costs £35.

Step 2: Order kitchen.

Step 3: Order new wardrobes too, for good measure.

Step 4: Inform husband.

Step 5: Resuscitate husband.

Step 6: Discover that the earliest date for delivery is July 21st.

Step 7: Discover that July 21st is first day of school holidays. Kick self.

Step 8: Accept delivery of several hundred anonymous boxes and bags from jolly Ikea delivery man. Ikea delivery man is still jolly despite having mistaken address for Llandeilo, Carmarthenshire. He didn't bat an eyelid when told that he needed to be in Pembrokeshire instead.

"I'll be a bit longer than an hour," quoth delivery man on mobile without irony.

Step 8: Remove stagnant old kitchen cupboards; discover hole in floor.

Step 9: Decide to build wardrobes while concrete dries in kitchen hole.

Step 10: Discover wardrobes are only marginally less tall than bedroom and must be built upright.

Step 11: Soothe husband again. Remember husband is motivated by deadline. Phone friends and book holiday in Devon for coming Sunday.

Step 12: Put on another DVD for children. Feed on biscuits and toast as kitchen out of bounds.

Step 13: Build wardrobes. Remove heaps of clothes from children's beds. Put children to bed as it is now the middle of the night.

Step 14: This takes place the following morning. Husband puts on shirt and tie and flees gladly to work.

Step 15: Erm, not sure what this one is yet. Have to wait and see if husband returns!

To be continued...


  1. Oh ho ho! What fun! We're IKEA fans too. Look forward to the sequel. Hope it all works. Do send some pics.

  2. Yikes - very funny but I suspect rather stressful in reality. Can't wait to see beautiful results though. Biscuits and toast cover all major foodgroups so not to worry.

  3. Please do keep us posted ... including the cooking of the first meal in that new kitchen.

    Having assembled a few bookcases in very small spaces, I am very sympathetic to what you are accomplishing! "Assembly required" are dangerous words.


  4. Fingers crossed he comes back!

  5. so many things which seem a good idea at the time ... keep looking forward to the time when it will all have been worthwhile - it will, you know!

  6. Being in the middle of decorating here, can sympathise. Keep us posted how us posted. Whereabouts in Devon?

  7. It will be fab ... have beat you ...have already played this one ...LURVE my Ikea kitchen ...especially the drawers...ooooooooooooo the drawers!

  8. Wow, you are very brave to do it yourself! Do hope husband returns in good time.

    CJ xx

  9. Oh I love this one Mags! Great fun reading it though I suspect not so fun to live it xx

  10. I've just discovered you through Silver Pebble and couldn't stop laughing. Sorry... probably not really funny at all. Hope your husband has returned and the cupboards have been built!

  11. Cripes! Crumbs! Hope all those boxes contain what they should and there are the requisite number of screws and pegs and whatnots to match. I always worry when there are some left...
    Just doing a quick catch up - am massively impressed by a) the enormous strawberry, put me in mind of the Enormous Caterpillar book, b) adorable babes in adorable Hunters and c) bog plants.
    Perfect. I must remember not to leave it so long between visits next time! You have been bookmarked.

  12. Another set of Ikea fans here - loved the way you wrote this and can just picture how it was all happening.

    How is it going now and will we get to se pictures of it all finished.


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