Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Grrrr

The telephone rang today while I was wandering around aimlessly wondering what to do next doing the housework. As usual it was a voice from India. I think he said his name was Marvin and he worked for Mutter Mutter but the line was so rubbish he could have been anyone.

He asked to speak to "Mr or Mrs Margaret".

"Speaking," said I, irritated.

"Mrs Margaret we have been informed that you or Mr Margaret has had a road traffic accident in the last seven days."

"NO YOU HAVE NOT," I told him none too gently. "I HAVE NEVER HAD A ROAD ACCIDENT. EVER."

CRASH. (The phone, not the car.)

It immediately rang again.

"Perhaps," he continued, as if we'd never been interrupted by me slamming the phone down (although it being a new-fangled digital jobbie all I did was angrily press the 'end call button') "another member of your family has had a road traffic accident."

"NO THEY HAVEN'T," I replied, "AND IF THEY HAD MY HUSBAND WORKS FOR THE POLICE AND HE'D BE THE FIRST TO KNOW NOT YOU."

CRASH. (Well, beep.)

It didn't ring again.

How very dare they though. Absolute parasites. They barely speak English. They have no idea if a 'Margaret'* is a male or a female, yet they have my telephone number. It's very unsettling and it makes me distrust the telephone. It only rings now with bad news, wrong numbers or parasites from foreign call centres ringing to see if I'm a soft target. Everyone else Facebooks or texts or emails or calls me on my mobile.

And the new digital thing is most unsatisfactory. What happened to all those wonderful old fashioned heavy telephones with the lovely rattly dials and a proper bell? Now those you could really SLAM.

I must get one of those**.

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* A 'Margaret' is a female and this one is of the Mags or Maggie variety and hates being called 'Margaret'. You can call me Margo, should you wish (see earlier blog).
**Good old Amazon. That lovely red thing pictured above has got a proper bell and a dial. I'm going to put it on the house's Christmas list.

7 comments:

  1. Or you could introduce yourself as an attorney at law, they seem a little unsettled and choose not to continue the conversation.
    We have caller ID, and an answering system, if you don't leave a message, we won't answer, uunless we recognise the telephine number. Yep, it's come to being unsociable :(
    ~Jo

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  2. I've not had this particular variation, but I HATE people (Indian call centre workers) who call me Mr. I do not sound male!!!!!
    I was getting so annoyed with cold calls, that I came up with a reply, along the lines of "I don't take any unsolicited calls, so would you please take my number off the database." It usually works, without raising my blood-pressure!
    Annoying as they are, I can't help but feel (slightly) sorry for them. They are led to believe that they will be working in a prestigious industry, then find themselves stuck in a cubicle calling people half-way across the world who obviously don't want to speak to them. I don't think Indian society lets them walk out of a job just because it is ...., and these jobs were regarded as quite an economic prize for India.

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  3. I'm with Jo. We have caller id as well, and screen our calls. It is much nicer than talking to strangers whose INTRUSIVE CALLS I REALLY DON'T WANT! DO YOU HEAR ME, PEOPLE?
    Oops, sorry, Mags. Not yelling at you. Honest!

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  4. No comments about how sexy you are from Marvin this time then?

    Horrid call though - most unsettling.

    (Have swapped one kind of chaos for another! House has turned into a building site.)

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  5. I get calls for a Mrs Cooper or Mrs Jenkins, everytime I say ' wrong number' they just say sorry and hang up, but it's so annoying, when I rush to answere the phone, and they say is that Mrs Coper, they know I'm not Mrs Cooper, so why do they keep on ringing.

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  6. Everyone we know knows to e-mail us, we never answer the phone, we're like you, it's always bad news, solicitations and other junk.

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  7. Please excuse the interruption, but have you heard of the Telephone Preference Service? It is free and once enrolled, those type of calls cease. I haven't had one for several years.

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I'm sorry to have to add word verification thing again but I keep getting spammed.